I read the following text on a forum, and felt an uncontrollable urge to copy and paste it here for your reading pleasure.
Anton KK from Moscow tries to prove that yacht-rock is actually cooler than black metal:
"True Norwegian black metal vs True Californian yacht rock
Californian yacht rock is much more true simply because it's a much more demanding life-style. To be a true black metal fan all you need is long unwashed hair, a can of corpse paint, a few spikes and an axe. To be a true yacht rock fan you obviously need a beard, a hairy chest, a yacht, an endless supply of coke and a hot blonde.
Californian yacht rock is much more expensive to record - in true Norwegian black metal you can spend 100 kronen on an entire album and if you don't even have that hundred you can always chop the producer with an axe and claim that the sound was not raw enough. In true Californian yacht rock you need to spend at least $1 000 000 on a record with 20 % spent on perfect smooth production and top West Coast session players (Russ Kunkel on drums is mandatory) and the other 80 percent spent on coke to make it even more smooth."
Oh, and in case you wonder where I stand,press PLAY: